Once upon a time I lived in Santa Cruz, CA. Ever since I left Santa Cruz, I've yearned to return; but, what would I be returning to? When I was there I was in a totally different place in my life. I was homeless and drug addicted, and there was absolutely NO stability in my life. Now, I'm a father of three, I'm married, and I work full time to support my family.
I think that I'm in love with memories. I look back on my time there and think to myself that it was my own personal garden of eden, but alas, it was not. My life was fucked up beyond belief. Sure there were amazing times when nothing seemed like it could go wrong, but there were thousands of times when it was the exact opposite.
My family and I took a vacation back to Santa Cruz last year, and while it was wonderful to see it all again, I still had to see my very close friends struggling with their continued homelessness. I had to see them starving, and ravaged by drugs. It was not the same town... even though it completely was.
Going back to live there could never be the same. I would have to make new friends because it would be unfair to subject my children to the daily ongoings of junkies. I would have to make (nearly) all new friends, and I would have to avoid all the places that my junkie friends would be at. That sounds like a lot of work.
There are people there, however, that I would definitely still hang out with. I guess what it comes down to is this: I love my friends in Santa Cruz, I just don't know if it's a good place to raise my kids. Temptation could possibly be much too strong for me, and then the next thing you know, my life would be ruined. That is something that I COULD NOT handle.
This is not set in stone however. Maybe some day down the road, I will have enough faith in myself to be able to handle such a situation... I don't know for sure. What I do know is that Santa Cruz is not the city IN my dreams, even if it is the city OF my dreams. Thinking time.
Sunday, July 24, 2011
Sunday, July 3, 2011
Drug Culture
I've spent a large portion of my 30 years on this big, blue ball, using drugs. ALL drugs. I've done most of them anyway, and numerous times each. I've been the degenerate and I've been the productive citizen. I've lived at both ends of the spectrum, which I believe allows me the right to speak on this.
I find myself between a rock and a hard place on this issue. I agree with many arguments for, and against the use of drugs; but, doesn't it come down to a matter of personal freedom? Shouldn't it be OUR choice what we do to ourselves?
There is definitely a sub-culture that can prove quite dangerous. A sub-culture defined be degenerates, thieves and rapists. People that are completely willing to do WHATEVER it takes to maintain their habit; whereas, there is another sub-culture that is able to maintain their habit and remain productive members of society. The people that function normally throughout the day, hold jobs, take care of their issues, yet still use drugs... should these people live in fear of reprimand for doing something that causes no problem in society? This is not me saying that it is appropriate for a parent to use heroin while bathing their infants.
Now an issue dealing with the black market. The black market will exist eternally, but through the denial of personal freedoms, the black market is thriving. If it were made obsolete, crime would dwindle to record lows. There WILL ALWAYS be crime, but that doesn't mean it's not possible to diminish the level without using scare tactics.
I guess my ultimate point would be this: We need money. We are currently losing money to international drug trade. If we eliminate that, and tax and regulate our own homemade drugs, the "officials" would stand to make billions annually just from tax revenue alone. Draw your own conclusions. Marijuana is not a drug.
I find myself between a rock and a hard place on this issue. I agree with many arguments for, and against the use of drugs; but, doesn't it come down to a matter of personal freedom? Shouldn't it be OUR choice what we do to ourselves?
There is definitely a sub-culture that can prove quite dangerous. A sub-culture defined be degenerates, thieves and rapists. People that are completely willing to do WHATEVER it takes to maintain their habit; whereas, there is another sub-culture that is able to maintain their habit and remain productive members of society. The people that function normally throughout the day, hold jobs, take care of their issues, yet still use drugs... should these people live in fear of reprimand for doing something that causes no problem in society? This is not me saying that it is appropriate for a parent to use heroin while bathing their infants.
Now an issue dealing with the black market. The black market will exist eternally, but through the denial of personal freedoms, the black market is thriving. If it were made obsolete, crime would dwindle to record lows. There WILL ALWAYS be crime, but that doesn't mean it's not possible to diminish the level without using scare tactics.
I guess my ultimate point would be this: We need money. We are currently losing money to international drug trade. If we eliminate that, and tax and regulate our own homemade drugs, the "officials" would stand to make billions annually just from tax revenue alone. Draw your own conclusions. Marijuana is not a drug.
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